Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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