Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
