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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
dude. I can hear the air.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
