I like my sex mixed with concussions.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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