some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
