8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
