Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
