Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
