I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
