wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
