my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
