too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
