I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
