my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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