He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
