Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My ass is underappreciated
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
