idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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