I want to have your abortion
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
