Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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