Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
