I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
