you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Edward fifth and chaser hands
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
50% drunk capacity currently
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
