C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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