I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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