If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Who died my cat blue again?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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