i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
