so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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