I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
