They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
