i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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