he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
