i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's never too late to be topless.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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