I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
