I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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