I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
