As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
