i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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