Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
