I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
