I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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