Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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