i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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