i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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