did you get engaged???
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
