Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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