She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
