apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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