I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
