Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
