is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
