i was born a porn star she said
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
